Lighthouse Keeper

I wanted to share this story again. It seems that someone might enjoy reading it again so as to remember the message....(first published Aug 2005)

Some time ago I was told a story about the lighthouse keeper. I searched for years and finally found this elusive man. The following is my memory of our conversations.

I was a young boy when I first realized that a search was in order. I had been told a story about a man that knew the secrets of the lighthouse and all the wonders to behold there. He spent his days and nights in the tower of white stone, briefly appearing as a ghostly shadow within the glass dome atop the pillar. The brightness of the light prevented all below from ever truly knowing what he was doing to keep such a bright lumination active. Few ever ventured close enough to inquire and as such, the mystery began to evolve...to gain life. The man who tended the light became a mythological creature with powers beyond human understanding. Or so the story goes...

I felt a strong desire to find this lighthouse and ask the keeper his secrets. What is there to fear in asking. If death is the result of my question, then I have my answer...do I not? So I began to look for this white pillar of mystery topped with a light too bright to view. I wanted...needed to meet this man.

Years went by and finally the clue I needed. As I stood there comparing the picture postcard with the live image flowing into my eyes, I was comforted by the smells and sounds that filled in so much about the scene I previously didn't know. Gulls swimming in the waves of air as seasalt breezes sharpen the senses. Fantastic blues growing into each other as the ocean and the sky melt into a moving background for this stupendous white tower. Even on a such a sun-filled day, the light dancing in the dome is brilliant and enticing. Momentary glimpses of the wonder above as swirling light teases the eyesight. I had found the lighthouse and stood awestruck for hours. --


What do I ask of the keeper? Now that I am here, what do I ask? This question was but a grain of sand as I would soon discover.

In my vacant stare upward I had failed to notice the man standing in the door at the base of the tower. He was dressed simply and seemed small in stature from this perspective. Maybe the tower is just that much larger than him. His hair what cut short and well kept sandy gray. He was gesturing to me to approach as if I were a stray dog looking for a meal. He was not apprehensive...I was.

Heart racing and skin crawling, I forced my legs to move with a simple lean forward. They had to go once my head began to move. I felt nothing of the earth beneath me as I went toward this unknown experience. With time growing less reliable, I found myself quickly at the feet of this mysterious man. He looked gently into my eyes and smiled. I was frozen in place, mouth ajar, trying to find language to use. This fleeting emotive response was relieved by a simple word.

"Hello", said the keeper.

"Hello", I replied.

The man adjusted his stance slightly and extended his hand toward me. "You are this first in many years to approach and I am happy to have the company".

As I grasped his hand I was filled with a warm feeling of comfort. I no longer felt afraid to ask the questions I had come to ask. I had been welcomed by the mythical lighthouse keeper and now must act on the opportunity.

The lighthouse doorway was much smaller than I had imagined and this man was physically slight. The tower was even more majestic at this close range as the craftsmanship and stonework became obvious. As I followed my invitation inside, I ran my hand across the stones of the tower and felt their cool strength solidify my resolve. My hand slid gently along the surface until it reached the aged wooden doorframe, a reminder of my place here...rough, unfinished, and needing work. I followed him inside and we began our conversation.

The light of day was dimmed significantly inside this spiraling tower and the shadows of the room fell only on cut stone walls and floor. The room at ground level was perfectly round and probably a hundred feet in diameter. The vastness of this space was striking. The only distinguishable feature was the stone staircase snaking up the wall into the haze above. Interesting that this room has only one wall...one continuous wall. The keeper was standing at the base of the first step allowing my eyes to adjust as well as my brain.

"When you are ready, I have much to share."His voice echoed oddly. He sounded everywhere at once when he spoke inside this shaft.

I went to him, "Can you tell about your existence here?"

"I exist here because I have chosen to tend to the light", he replied.

The cryptic response was not a good sign. So vague in the reply. Probably because my question was so vague. Start with something simple I told myself. "May I go up to see the light?"

"Yes...in time" He seemed to think to me. I wondered if it might be the weird echo causing this sensation. "First there are steps to take between there and here. As you can see we are standing at step one of the spiral upwards. It is at our feet presently."

Below my feet was a step that became infinitely massive as I stepped upon it. My eyes were playing tricks on me. I could see the smallness of the step when I was standing in the room. It had been no greater in size than a step in a common home. Until I stood upon it. Now it seemed immense and the step up was beyond view. My blank look was allowed to exist as long as needed. I have no idea how long I stood there, gawking...wondering how this could be. Absorbing my new environment.

As I exhaled, "Where.. are.. we?"

"We are on step one", he said.

"How did the small step I saw originally become so huge?", I inquired.

His answer was simple and magnificent. "When you were first looking at the step, you were seeing it as you were told to see it. Once you stood upon it without anticipation, you were able to see it as it is."

He continued, "The first step is this massive once you realize that there are many things to learn about it. The importance of exploring this step to the fullest extent cannot be underestimated. This is the foundation for our climb. Can you see the value in knowing every possible concept and structure of this foundation step?"

Frustrated at my missing of the obvious, "I didn't realize that there was more to learn about something that seemed so simple. I didn't know...".

He smiled at this remark and questioned me again, "Did you not believe that you would find something new to learn by finding me?"

Ahhh, logic. My favorite. "Yes, I did believe in that. So how do I begin...what do we do?"

We spent many hours discussing the first step and all that this first step implied. Every crack was explored and each bit of sensory input materialized into consciousness. We would ponder the angles and the curves, the shapes and designs, for long periods. I once again was finding time unreliable and wondered how long had it been...really. It could have been days, but I wasn't hungry or thirsty. Still, time was failing me. After learning much I finally asked how long we had been on step one and how long do we remain?

"We remain as long as necessary and have only been here as long as you perceive to have been here."

As my brain unscrambled this message, I began to notice the changes in front of me. The step up had become clearly visible and was shrinking in size...no I was growing. Everything around me once again was like the moment I arrived. I was standing on this normal step next to the keeper. We were once again in the circular room. The lighting and shadows having not changed. I felt absolutely wonderful. Empowered.

" We now have the ability to continue to step two", he said.

Up we went. A gentle motion of muscle created by bioelectricity brought my foot to this magnificent next step. Time began to fail again and before my eyes the world became massive in size. The concept of the room, the first step, the entire tower was gone from perception as we stood in the vastness of this new step. Our endless conversations began in earnest and continued for immeasurable amounts of time. We discussed the new concepts found on step two and combined them with the knowledge we had gained on step one. The mental connections growing exponentially.

As suddenly as we had descended into this giant step we were once again normal size. We had enjoyed watching the height of step three gradually bow to our level. And now were prepared to proceed to it and begin again.

Still my hunger abated and thirst did not imprison me. I had no desire but for more knowledge. I had to ask my new friend.

"How come I am not hungry or thirsty? We have been at this for days as far as I can tell."

"You are fulfilled by that which you desire", he said.

"So if I desire knowledge and receive it, I will be fulfilled? I will not need to eat or drink? I cannot understand this for I am human and have specific needs for survival." My frustration was becoming obvious.

He smiled and replied, "You have been taught how to survive as you are, but you desire growth and change. If you anticipate a need for the basics of food and water as an integral aspect of this growth and change, then you will be limited to that existence. As we have seen on the first two steps, anticipation is limiting while objectivity is liberating. The small step became immense until understood completely. Once understood completely, the step does not go back to being small, but you grow to tower over the step in it's true size."

We continued our discussions up the spiral, into the shrinking vortex of light at the top. At the half way point, as I could best discern, we stopped for a rest and to look back upon our progress. We were at such a height, my groin was tingling with fear and excitement. As we looked about, the light had grown brighter and the walls closer together. My attention was drawn to the changes in my friends appearance. His hair is shoulder length and his beard full. My hands are exploring my own new long hair and beard in a simultaneous motion of thought and sensate. How long have we been at this?

"If you grow weary we can rest. The journey is not to be rushed. We must give our brains time to assimilate the information so we can best apply it going forward." His demeanor had not changed as our appearances had. He still glowed with delight and wonder. Was he getting younger?--

We spent a millennia together according to my best estimates. No way to explain this without having walked up the steps yourself. Along the way I was beginning to understand more completely how the process strives to evolve one's knowledge and shape one's soul. This journey is very individualized and specific for all who choose to embark. Mine had been spectacular.

We eventually reached the final step. We were standing before the platform surrounded by glass. The floor ahead was a miniature copy of the floor below, every stone a smaller duplicate. Even the stones that sloped upward into the base of the spinning light were precisely cut to match their sisters below, ever twisted up and open to the light. Blue sky glows in all directions as if we are swimming in the sky with the gulls. Rotating filaments of light fill the space in the perfect center of the glass sphere.

He asks, "Are you ready to move on"?

"Yes", I say. My confidence is still tempered by this new view.

We step up onto the platform of stone and spend our first moments staring at the light we have reached. It was a fiercely white light from the ground outside. I could barely stand to look in it's direction for long. Yet now I was standing with my face creating carbon monoxide ghosts on the glass of the majestic light. The colors were hypnotic. I had never seen color like this. The white of the light was no more than a transparent shell around all the colors. It must be a prism of some sort.

I asked my well traveled friend, "Is it a prism that allows me to see these spectacular colors"?

"You see the light as it is, not as you had been taught to see it. You no longer are limited by your perception for your perception has outgrown limitation", he gently remarked.

I immediately understood and began to weep with joy. Ecstasy. I see...I finally see!!

As my emotions were absorbed back into my being, I decided to spend time with my friend, tending the light. We had many wonderful conversations, most of which are for another time. We spent perhaps another millennia together until finally one day I asked the next question.

"What is next?", I politely inquired.

He smiled and looked pleased in the fact that I would ask. To those who would reach such a height and be in the presence of such a light, how could they dare ask for more? Trust me when I say that upon the completion of your journey up the steps of this tower, you too will understand why this question is not bold nor inappropriate. In fact, it is the next question. The true answer to all questions are other questions.

"It is your choice to remain here or to return. You have finished but one journey up, of which there are infinite paths. You are welcome here as long as you desire, but when you desire more a choice must be made." His answer was a perfect circle as it should be.

I understood and made my choice. It was easy!--

I decided to share this story so that you too might see that the lighthouse keeper is not to be feared. He is only there to help those who ask. The climb is the true experience and once I was at the summit, I just had to climb it again. Wanna go with me this time?