tick tock...

And the pendulum gains momentum as the sphere races back toward balance...

Exciting, isn't it!! So much more fun to come.

Memory Branches

I have been spending much time contemplating new ideas... at least new to me... trying to find a system of organization to incorporate these new ideals into my already overflowing brain. In conversations with my mother, I have spoken of looping information and wheels of synchronicities in my life and our human life. So much is hidden for us to discover.

I began with a journey into my memories. I endured countless hours of trying to piece together every memory from early childhood until now, into a chronological and synchronous mental graph. Picture a blooming rose and notice how each petal forms a loop out from the stem and then back in. These loops continue to expand as the flower grows, the outside petals becoming larger and sturdier as time passes. Each of these looping petals is simultaneously an individual and the entire flower. This is the picture that began to form as the mental image of my memories was developed.

I soon realized that the flower was but one among many on the plant, sharing space with leaf, thorn, and root. I had formed my current lifetime of memories and knowledge into but a single rose on the much larger rose bush. How could I determine what memories and knowledge had allowed me to find a single rose in the first place? Should I not find that I truly do consist of many branches, many leaves, solid roots, and multiple blooms? Of what do these hidden parts of me consist? I still search for answers to these questions. This is the hegira.

So, all my knowledge and memories wrapped up neatly in a single rose. The symbolism running rampant...reproduction, rebirth, growth, expansion, beauty, sensate, pain, hunger, death. Add your own if you choose. The list truly is endless. I was only able to find this simple image of a flower because I was first able to draw the mental lines connecting minute veins and cells. Each of these components acting as the strands of my neurons, branching and connecting in a systematic orgy of knowledge formation. When I finally connected all the dots, I was rewarded with a rose. And up to this point progress was difficult if not rushed.

So now I have realized that I may know much about this lifetime, but I am consciously unaware of the roots, stem, leaves, and thorns that are the complete me. Not to mention all the other roses... This is a curious quest, for there truly are no complete answers. Every magnificent answer generates a more magnificent set of questions. It becomes clear that it is a loop, an ever expanding circle in which knowledge is created by developing answers to questions which in turn creates new questions for us to attempt to answer.

To make things more interesting, the information needed to begin to understand one's true complete being is not available in a source like college or even a section in a bookstore. The information is spread throughout all books, all songs, all stories, all films, all sciences, all mysticisms, all religions, and all recorded history. Spread in such a manner that it resembles a mixed up rubic's cube. Not only that, but the information is interlaced amongst rhetoric designed to obfuscate and mislead. When you begin to find the patterns of truth and lie, you begin to notice that everything true and everything a lie is hidden in symbology and metaphor. It is like a year round grammar class that continuously tightens its spiral of detail and concept.

So here I am, lost in an ocean of symbols, metaphor, and imagination. I am realizing that I have spent 35 years learning the wrong things, learning how to survive only in this lifetime when there are so many more lifetimes to go. At least I had this realization in time to remedy the circumstance. All is lessons and I am finally learning.

11

if last not prime
but one not zero
check next in line
to play the hero
if last is nine
look up for clue
quick this time
it answers you
"i may be many
but made of few
i am destiny
for some of you"

Self Censorship

I have chosen to remove a few posts from my blog. This was done after a realization as to the true source of the negativity. Now that I "know", I can choose wisely.

I learned a lesson. Yay!

-----

Sidenote: I once again must encourage anyone reading this to follow Alice down the rabbit hole. Find the White Rabbit at http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/waveindex.htm

One could begin a journey if one chooses!

Think Carefully...

Have you ever wondered "who" the voice was in your head when you talk to yourself? I realize it sounds like you and always seems to be there whenever needed. In fact you are reading with this voice right now. But who answers the questions you ask yourself?

The old notion of the angel and the devil, one in each ear, is appropriate. Who do we listen to? Well, the old notion suggests that there are voices in our heads we do not own, otherwise how could we receive an answer to the question. "Should I or Shouldn't I?"

The reference to good and evil is difficult to ignore. Two separate voices in tandem with your own. I am only suggesting that when we ask ourselves for direction, we get mixed signals, like competing sides fighting for victory. "Do I or Don't I?"

One could surmise that it is only perceived to be different voices because the intentions of each are so opposite. Since they argue, they are separate. Since they struggle, they are separate. But, why are the intentions so different? I believe the huge difference in intentions, at the root of their argument, indicates they are other voices communing with us and offering solutions to problems. It is our choice as free will beings to decide which path to follow in solving our problems. We can listen to the side that asks us to be stressful, jealous, angry, greedy, and deceitful or we can listen to the side that says there is something more than all those things. One side presents limited choices while the other presents infinite options. It is simply a matter of choosing. This choice pattern does eventually lead to a result that curiously mirrors many myths about existence after death. Does one choose the path of light or that of darkness? "Will I or Won't I?"

Listen for the responses received in your mind when you next ponder an idea. Listen and think carefully...Is that you answering back?

Different Now

I still desire, but it's different now. I still hunger, but it's different now. I still lust, but it's different now. I want more than ever, but it's different now. I still love, but it's different now.

I crave unadulterated, overflowing, chocolate covered, raspberry filled, mountains of yummyness called knowledge. Moaning, groaning, orgasmic amounts of knowledge. Running red lights, speeding through traffic, adrenaline filled knowledge. Pull the curtain back and confront the wizard knowledge. "Johnny 5 alive...need input!"

All is Lessons. Are you ready to begin for real?

Time to Wake Up...

I have been absent from my blog for a reason. I have been deeply involved in research for answers to some basic questions. Such as, what is consciousness and why do we exist. This is highly time consuming and rewarding beyond imagination.

For approximately a year now I have heard a repeating message... "It is only small on the outside". I am slowly beginning to understand that the "it" is my mind. The "small" is how I used to perceive it. And through experience I have found that inside the mind is infinite. So I have begun to comprehend the limitless opportunity for exploration and learning.

I feel compelled to share some worthwhile information with anyone who chooses to listen. All of my searching has led me to a valuable source of information and thought provoking concepts. How you embrace this information is your choice, as are all things. I also must admit that the digestion of the material by the mind is physically draining and psychologically difficult. Well worth it though! Mind Blowing!

Take the "RED" pill @ http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/waveindex.htm

The "Note to New Readers" link in the left column is helpful background information about the website.